This is a list of different types of pick up lines. There are funny ones as well as dirty, stupid and even rude ones. Use them at your own risk.
Funny Stupid Rude Comebacks
You can’t be first, but you could be next.
What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper
Hey babe, want to get LUCKY!?
First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
You've been a bad, bad girl. Go to my room!
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
Hey baby, you must be a light switch, because every time I see you, you turn me on!
Hey, Laura! [Big hug]. I haven't seen you forever!! [huge kiss] Wow, you've really changed! [I'm not Laura] What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!
What do I have to do to be your booty call?
Let's face it. I'm hot, you're hot and we both know you got a crush on me. And really, who can blame you with a gorgeous face like this. So can I snatch a kiss or vice-versa [that is kiss a snatch].
Hi. I'm gay, think you can convert me?
Grab your jacket, you've scored. Let's go.
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Excuse me...are those real?
What's a nice girl like you doing talking to a loser like me?
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?
Fat penguin [What?] I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.
If you are going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
My magical watch says you are not wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
You must work at Subway, because you just gave me a foot long.
You are the only reason why I came in here alone.
You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
I bet you $40 you're going to turn me down.
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
I'm betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day.
Seriously honey, sex is like Pizza. Even if it is bad, it is still pretty darn good.
When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Be unique and different, just say yes.
Use your index finger to call someone over then when a girl asks you why did you do it. Say: "I just wanted to find out if I could make you come with my finger."
Can I flirt with you?
Damn sexy, you have more curves than a race track.
Do you know karate? Because damn it honey, your body is really kicking.
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!
As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn it!
Can I borrow a quarter? [What for?] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
Damn, I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
Did you know that there are 265 bones inside of your body? [Wait for answer] "Yeah, and I could show you how to get one more?"
Didn't I used to always pull on your ponytail in grammar school?
Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? [Why?] 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
Do you have any [Irish, Polish, Russian, Italian - pick one] in you? [if no] Would you like some? [If yes] Want some more?
Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?
Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? [No] Do you want to do lunch?
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? [No] Do you want to go upstairs and talk.
Do you like music? [Yes) Good, I've got a great stereo system at home!
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of, from across the room?
Does your boyfriend know where you are?
Excuse me, do you believe in one night stands?
Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.
Have you heard the latest piece of medical knowledge saying that Sex is a real killer? Do you want to die happy?
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [after she slaps you or leaves) HEY! What's wrong, you don't like pizza?
Hi there! Do you want to see something really swell?
Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?
Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.
Hi, my name is [Your name]. You might want to remember it now, because you'll be screaming it later!
Hi. You'll do.
Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" [I don't know.] "Cause they're mine sweetheart."
How do you like your eggs cooked? [Why?] Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
I had sex with someone last night. Was that you?
I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!
I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!!
I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
I seemed to have lost my way, would you mind taking me with you.
I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: "Yeah! Do you have the energy?"
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
I'm not trying to pressure you. I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent.
Sooo... What is a slutty girl like you doing in a classy place like this?
Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity rush, and one of the things on my list is a umm....weird chick.
Is it that cold out here or are you just smuggling tic-tac's?
Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
Gee, for a fat girl you sure dont sweat much.
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Baby, you so flat you make the walls jealous.
I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.
Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?] Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
I've been slightly depressed ever since my vasectomy.
I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?
Lick your finger and touch the person, touch yourself with it and say, "Let's you and me get out of these wet clothes."
May I flirt with you?
Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
Say, did we go to different schools together?
Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz you are special.
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
[Walk into her chest] "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened.
Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice?
Sorry to bother you, but I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.
Take a screw with you and put it in your pocket. Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!
Were you just smiling at me from across the room, or do I have my contacts in wrong?
You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if you think I'M cute.
You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
You're ugly but you intrigue me.
Use index finger to call someone over then say, "I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand."
Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, "Come on, we're leaving." [The key is to act like you know them.]
